We found out we were pregnant at the end of February 2020 after experiencing a loss in October 2019. It was our second round of IVF. Once I had passed the 12 week stage of the pregnancy, I reached out to Mary in DoulaCare Ireland around working with them. As we all know, Covid 19 had hit the country, and there were lots of restrictions in place in hospitals, so we were all unsure of how things would work come delivery day. My husband and I discussed this, and were reassured by Mary that they were flexible to the ever changing restrictions. We felt that it was only going to be beneficial to have a doula to support us as the pregnancy proceeded. We were put in touch with Siobhan and immediately knew that we had made the correct decision. 

I had a very clear idea of the kind of birth I wanted – non medicated, and as natural as possible, with little intervention. I had a lot of anxiety during my pregnancy given the route we had taken to get pregnant, and our previous loss. I am the kind of person who needs to know facts, figures, stats and the sources/studys in order to be able to come up with a plan, and to feel informed and that I am in control (as much as it is possible to be in control when pregnant!) With the support of Siobhan and DoulaCare Ireland, I developed my birth preference document and wrote to our hospital requesting permission to have Siobhan join us for delivery. I was expecting this to be refused, but to our surprise, we were given permission. This immediately made me feel more relaxed and confident about the delivery. 

During the pregnancy, we met with Siobhan on 2 occasions in our home (during the summer when restrictions had been relaxed) and I was in regular contact via text and email with questions, birth preferences and more. As my husband wasn't able to come to any hospital appointments with me, these visits were invaluable for him. He had the time to ask questions as they arose during the conversation, and for them to be answered without any time restrictions. Siobhan also helped point me in the right direction to research, studies and peer reviewed publications to answer questions I had around labour, interventions, induction etc – for example, what the Bishops Score is and why it is important when considering induction.

My due date was the end of October, and I was told many times by the hospital that I would not be allowed “go over” due to my age (41) and the fact that my pregnancy was IVF. I was keen to avoid induction as I was worried about labouring alone in hospital. I had used the bouncy ball through my pregnancy, but with renewed enthusiasm from 36 weeks. I ate dates like they were going out of fashion (stuffed with peanut butter of course!) and practiced the hypnobirthing breathing & affirmations, which were all strategies we had discussed with Siobhan.

On my final appointment at 39+4, my Bishops Score was between 5 & 6, and I was told that I would be admitted to hospital at 40+3 to have my membranes ruptured. While disappointed, through the work and preparation I had done with Siobhan, and feeling that I had all my questions answered by the doctor (I used to arrive to appointments with a notebook!), I was content that meeting my baby, and us both being healthy was the ultimate outcome.

As it turns out, my baby had a different idea. At 40 weeks I went into labour at 4am, and over the course of the morning the surges because more intense. I hooked myself to my TENS machine and used the breathing exercises. As a first time mother I was unsure of whether this was actual labour or a false alarm. I texted Siobhan to let her know I thought I was in labour, and went about my day. I baked tea brack for the midwives just in case, went for my COVID test which had been scheduled for my planned ARM, finished packing my hospital bags, and watched episodes of The West Wing while bouncing on the ball. By 3pm, I knew that it was not a false alarm. 

Over the course of the next 7 hours I was in touch with Siobhan via text. She was great at suggesting things that would help with the surges – simple things like a hot water bottle on my lower back, using the exercises that we had practiced and that she had shown my husband to help ease the pressure I was feeing. In the course of the surges I had forgotten these so it was great to be reminded and they helped. 

By 10.30pm my surges were coming about 3 minutes apart. I was exhausted and felt that I wanted to go to the hospital. It seems that once I made the decision to go in, my body responded. My waters broke and I called the hospital to let them know I was on the way. I rang Siobhan as we left the house to let her know. We made it to the hospital in about 11 minutes – usually a 20 minute drive!! Unfortunately my husband had to leave me at the door due to COVID19 restrictions. On examination I was 3cm dilated and I was distraught at the thought of being on my own for another number of hours. It took about 30 minutes for me to be moved to the labour ward, and I was about to call my husband to send him home, expecting to be there for a while before he could come in, but I must have made some strange sounds, as the midwife decided quite quickly to examine me again, and I was 9cm. I quickly called my husband, updated him and was wheeled to a delivery room. The next hour or so is a bit of a blur. I don't remember much, but I opened my eyes and both my husband and Siobhan were there, either side of me. 

My husband was a physical support – holding my hand, my shoulders, taking my weight when I was on the birthing stool and telling me I was doing great. Siobhan was like an invisible but constant support- cold flannels on my head and shoulders, sips of water, asking did I want to think about another position that might be more comfortable/helpful. All the things we had discussed during the pregnancy. 

After 2.5 hours pushing, where baby made little progress, the midwives mentioned that I would likely require a forceps delivery. Through the whole pregnancy, I was adamant that I didn't want one, and me, and my husband had discussed that I would rather ask for a c-section than have instrumental intervention. I felt confident in my decision and immediately told the midwives & doctors that I wanted a c-section. 

There was a lot of back and forth, and doctors suggested that baby was too low for a c-section. I was still confident in asking for a section, but was also quite calm. I was happy that once the decision we made was the best for our baby and for me, that was the correct one. I was brought to theatre, and Siobhan stayed with my husband while I was being prepped, keeping him calm! 

At the end of a very long day, and another examination in theatre, it was decided that the best thing was for baby to arrive via C-section and at 3.33am, our daughter arrived into the world. We got our wish to have my husband announce her gender, as well as delayed cord clamping. Again, being confident in ensuring that I voiced these preferences loudly, even while there were people all around me prepping for surgery, was down to the prep work we had done with Siobhan. While I was being stitched up after surgery,  my husband was bonding with our daughter, and Siobhan was allowed to stay which was great as he wasn't alone. I am so happy that they got to meet each other, as Siobhan was a really important part of our pregnancy journey. 

Looking back at the pregnancy, labour and delivery, the preparation and work we did with Siobhan, and indeed Mary at DoulaCare Ireland, ensured that we were comfortable with the decisions that were made during delivery. We are both happy that any actions taken to ensure that our daughter arrived safely were the right ones. I feel that I was empowered through the information, resources, and tools discussed with Siobhan, to feel informed about the kind of birth I wanted, and also to feel a part of the decisions that were made which led to the safe and healthy delivery of our daughter. It might not have been the birth I had pictured, but the end result is that I walked out of the hospital with a healthy daughter, and that was the ultimate goal. 

Being pregnant, birthing, and being a new mum in a pandemic has not been easy. It has at times been isolating, challenging, lonely and upsetting, but I can honestly say that the support we have received from Siobhan and Doula Care Ireland has made the process easier. 

We had a post partum support visit from Siobhan and we discussed the whole process & birth. She helped me realise that I had a traumatic birth experience, but also reminded me that I had voiced my preferences during the labour, so was part of the decision making process at all steps. 

I can't recommend DoulaCare Ireland enough – they were caring, professional, reassuring and kind at all stages. As well as being supportive for myself and my husband, and ultimately our baby, they are just lovely people who have the best interests of pregnant people and families at heart. 

Thank you so much for being part of our pregnancy and birth journey.